Monday, April 13, 2009

I Think I Might Get A Dog

I think I might get a dog. No definite decision has been made yet, but that’s what I think I might do.

Of course, several questions will have to be resolved before this actually happens. Some of these are fairly complicated, at least in my mind they are. Questions like- How do I explain getting a dog now when I have been adamantly opposed to having a dog for so many years? How do I explain getting a dog when I want one and not allowing my kids to have one when they wanted one? Will I get tired of taking care of it after I have had it for a while? Will I still be nice to it when I step in dog poop left in my back yard? If so, what if I am wearing my good shoes when I do?

Also, there are some simple questions that are holding me back. Like what kind of dog will I get? Will it be male or female? What will its name be? What will I have to do to ‘dog-proof’ my back yard? Will I get one when it is a cute little puppy or when it is already grown. Will I buy a ‘brand new’ dog from the pet store or adopt a ‘used’ dog from an animal shelter. If I buy a ‘brand new’ dog, will I feel guilty when they show those pictures of the poor little 'used' dogs waiting to be adopted at the animal shelter?

I have some other questions I am working through but they really don’t fall into the complicated or simple categories listed above. I am not sure what category to put these in. These questions involve things such as- Will I take it for a walk? If I do, will I get a normal leash or one of those that winds and unwinds itself? Will I let it ride in the truck with me and stick its head out the window as I go down the road? Will I make it wear one of those bandanas around its neck? If so, why would I do that? Will I take it with me when I go to other people’s houses and expect them to like it being there as much as I do? Seems like other dog owners do.

If it growls and shows its teeth at someone, will I say “It’s ok, he don’t bite”? What if he does bite? Is it ok if I still say that to certain people?
Will I teach it to do tricks like rollover and play dead? What would be the purpose of that if I did? Would I make other people watch my dog and me perform these stupid tricks? Seems like other dog owners do.

Would I feed the dog the scraps left over from dinner? If so, would I be required to get a doggy bag and bring the leftovers from a restaurant? Would I feed the dog dry or canned dog food? If it’s canned, would I buy a few cans at a time or a whole bunch of cans on one of those little flat cardboard trays? If so, what would I do with all those little flat cardboard trays when I got through with them? What about all those empty cans? If it’s dry, what size bag would I buy? Would I buy a big bag and push it around in the shopping cart while I continue my grocery shopping? Seems like other dog owners do.

Will I let the dog come in the house sometimes? What if it is really cold and raining? If I do, will I let it sleep in the bed with me? Never mind, I think I know the answer to that one.

I didn’t realize I had so many questions until I started listing them. Maybe I will not get a dog. Maybe I’ll just get a fish.

But if I did, what kind of fish would I get?

1 comment:

  1. I have two you could practice with if you'd like.